So How Hot is it in Texas ?

Oh Lordy, it's HOT outside ! 

Unbearably hot, uncomfortably hot, makes-me-very-grumpy hot!

People like to make jokes about the intense summer heat in Texas like: 

• The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• Corn is popping on the stalks
• Green tomatoes fry on the vine,
• You eat jalapenos to cool your tongue

BUT SERIOUSLY, IT’S SO HOT IN TEXAS THAT…

every one of the following statements is true and I speak from personal experience. 

• Hot water now comes from both faucets
• You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
• You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
• You discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• The best parking place is always determined by shade instead of distance.
• In June, July and August, kids are on summer vacation, and the streets and playgrounds are deserted
• It's 5:00 am in June, July and August and there are all kinds of people out walking/running in the dark
• You can actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break a sweat the moment you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
• No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
• You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
• A/C  runs 24 hours a day 
• All blinds and window coverings in your home are kept shut  for the season
• You can burn the bottoms of your feet just running out to the mailbox if you're not wearing shoes 
• If the temperature drops into the mid 70's  in the early morning, it is considered 'refreshing' 
• The air quality is like breathing vacuum cleaner dust
• You keep twice as much iced tea in the refrigerator as milk 

... AND AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH, IT’S SO DRY IN TEXAS THAT…

• The cows are giving evaporated milk.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.
• A sad Texan once prayed, “I wish it would rain – not so much for me, cuz I’ve seen it — but for my 7-year-old.”
• A visitor to Texas once asked, “Does it ever rain out here?” A rancher quickly answered “Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?” The visitor replied, “Yes, I’m familiar with Noah’s flood.” “Well, “the rancher puffed up, “we got about two and a half inches of that.

Just kidding of course, but the drought is of real concern to farmers and ranchers alike. Wildfires have broken out across the state and are difficult to get under control. The loss of 1000's of acres of property, livestock and crops is unimaginable.

In my 'planned community', you are required by the HOA to keep the grass green, which means that we must water the lawn regularly. Even so, there are deep, wide cracks appearing in the yard. Because the soil is clay,  it shrinks when too dry and many homeowners end up with serious foundation issues due to the shifting that happens as a result. The slabs become prone to cracking and repairing a cracked foundation can cost a homeowner a bundle. 

Oh the joys perils of living  enduring the long seemingly endless season of summer in Texas.

I've heard it said there are two seasons here - hot and hotter - that pretty much sums it up. 

A national weather commentator  described it this way last week : 

"Summer in Texas is like living inside a hairdryer - non-stop wind and hot." 

Think I'll go and enjoy another big glass of iced tea and dream of October... it just can't come soon enough for this northern girl.

Yielding all I know about me to all I know about Him.